Tuesday, March 15

I wanna hold your hand...

Often when I have errands to run I'll bring my eldest boy, who is 8, along with me.  We duck in and out of the shops, chatting and holding hands along the way.  There are no thoughts or words that go into us holding hands, we just do.  I've always put my hand out and a little hand has always slipped in.  Simple as that.

So while out and about the other day, as we were walking into a large, busy department store, I was surprised when I thoughtlessly put my hand out and....nothing.  "Hold my hand," I asked absentmindedly.

"No," Jack said. 

"Are you serious?" I asked, stopping.  "Come on, Sweets, hold my hand."

"Mom, we don't always have to hold hands," he firmly stated.  And even though there was a twinkle in his eye and a little smile on his lips, I knew that he was serious about this.  He wasn't budging.

And I thought to myself...is this how it happens?

As your children grow and naturally start to distance themselves from you, as they start to show signs that they don't need you so much anymore, does it happen like this?  Does it come with no warning?  And what about me?  I still very much want to hold hands with this little boy of mine.  I'm not ready for this.

I'm not sure what other Mothers have done when they have found themselves in similiar situations, but I wasn't prepared and I wasn't going down without a fight. 

So, in a very loud voice in a very busy department store, I asked him, "Jack, you need some new undies don't you?  Let's go find the little boys underwear section!  I know, how about some Buzz Lightyear ones!"

And just like that, his little hand slipped into mine.  He was mortified and he didn't hesitate to tell me.  But you know what?  I realized that I'm not picky.  I'll take hand holding with grumbling over no hand holding at all.  Because like I said, I'm not ready.  Yet.


  1. Oh Trish, don't worry about this, it's natural... and this is the way it should be, life goes in cycles of seven, Jack is now in his second cycle . He has left the first one from brith to seven, the one of being child, and has now entered the second one - seven to fourteen - a young boy...it's lovely... welcome it with open arms because you know what comes with this stage, the young boy will slip his arm through yours, and he will wrap it his arm around your waist at the very time when you're not expecting it but need it the most.

  2. Expressions of love will come in different ways Trish. Don't hold on to that little hand too tightly or you will find it pulling away hard.
    You have to love the independence as well as the dependence...that shows you are doing your (primary) job as a mother well and teaching Jack how to stand tall, alone. Trust me, he will love you all the more for that.

  3. Yes, you are both right and I do know what you are saying...really I do. I just didn't know that it all comes without warning.

    And I really should have added that it was a funny moment between us...we were both laughing. Think that I might have painted the wrong picture. :)

  4. I wasn't really responding to what happened in the store with you and Jack, because I know that it would have been a very cute, funny, moment between the two of you. You have a wonderful relationship together.

    What I was referring to is what was felt in your heart at that moment when you realized your son was growing up. That deep 'pang' feeling. What was going on on the inside.
    I think all mothers feel that at some point in their lives with their children, and the kicker is...you don't get to feel it just once either
    And yes, it does come without any warning but so do miracles and wonderful surprises.
    What's even funnier is that when you're old often roles get reversed and it's now us standing defiant in a store, being told by our children to get over here and hold their hands.LOL

  5. So true V ~ the wonderful surprises in motherhood also come without warning! ♥

  6. Don't worry, I have a son, now 24, he is very affectionate. Ends his calls with I love you mum, no matter who is in the room. Mind you, there was a hiatus from amybe 10 - 20.


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